Redefining Beauty: My Journey of Seeking, Struggling, and Embracing My Own Standards

A few days ago, I came across an article about a woman’s journey with hair loss and how it reshaped her relationship with beauty (CNA Article). It struck a deep chord with me. We often associate beauty with having more—more hair, flawless skin, the perfect figure. But her story made me reflect on my own journey of self-image, and how over the years, I’ve redefined what beauty truly means to me.

And what better occasion to share this reflection than on International Women’s Day—a day to celebrate strength in beauty and beauty in strength.

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The Search for Beauty: A Personal Reflection

I can’t remember exactly when I first became aware of beauty as a concept. Maybe it was flipping through fashion magazines as a teenager, seeing airbrushed models with impossibly perfect skin and glossy hair. Or perhaps it was growing up in a culture that equated beauty with fairness, youthfulness, and flawlessness.

For years, I chased after beauty like it was a destination. I experimented with skincare promising “glass skin,” tried trending makeup techniques, and even went through phases of dressing in ways I thought were universally appealing rather than what truly resonated with me.

Then came the moments of self-doubt. The bad skin days. The weight fluctuations. The times when my hair just wouldn’t cooperate, and I felt like no amount of effort could make me look “put together.” It was exhausting. At times, I felt like beauty was something I just couldn’t attain—at least, not in the way the world told me I should.

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The Turning Point: Learning to See Beauty Differently

As I immersed myself in style coaching, I began to see beauty from a different lens—not as an ideal, but as a practice. I started paying more attention to my clients’ relationships with their own appearance, and a pattern became clear:

• Some women looked stunning but never felt beautiful.

• Others, despite having features they once saw as flaws, radiated confidence and ease.

• Many felt trapped by standards that weren’t even their own.

  
  

I saw how personal style wasn’t just about wearing the right colours or choosing the right silhouettes—it was about alignment. The way you present yourself should feel like an extension of who you truly are, not an attempt to fit into someone else’s vision of beauty.

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Lessons Learned: Defining My Own Beauty Standards

💡 Beauty is Fluid, Not Fixed.What I found beautiful in my 20s is not the same as what I admire today. The way I perceive my own face, my body, and even my choices in self-care have evolved. I stopped obsessing over achieving a specific look and instead focused on what makes me feel good right now.

💡 Grooming is Self-Respect, Not Perfection.I used to see personal grooming as a way to “fix” my flaws. Now, I see it as an act of self-care. Taking care of my skin, hair, and body isn’t about chasing perfection—it’s about honouring myself and showing up with confidence.

💡 Style is Power.Clothing isn’t just fabric—it’s language. When I started dressing in a way that aligned with my personality, lifestyle, and aspirations, I noticed how differently I carried myself. It wasn’t about trends anymore—it was about authenticity.

💡 Comparison is the Thief of Joy.I stopped measuring myself against filtered Instagram images and celebrity beauty standards. The more I focused on my own unique traits, the less I cared about what was deemed “ideal.”

💡 Beauty is a Feeling, Not Just a Look.Some of the most beautiful people I’ve met don’t have conventional model-like features. But their presence, energy, and self-assurance make them magnetic. I’ve learned that true beauty isn’t about fitting into a mould—it’s about owning who you are, flaws and all.

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Celebrating Strength in Beauty, Beauty in Strength

If you had asked me years ago what beauty meant, I would have given you a very different answer. Today, beauty to me is about feeling at ease in my own skin, about celebrating my individuality rather than trying to erase or alter it. It’s about embracing effort without chasing perfection.

And while I still love a great outfit, a glowing complexion, and a good hair day, I no longer see beauty as something to achieve. It’s something to embody, in whatever way feels right for me.

On this International Women’s Day, let’s celebrate the diverse, ever-evolving, and deeply personal definitions of beauty. Whether you find beauty in strength, resilience, or self-acceptance, the most important standard is the one you set for yourself.

So, tell me—what does beauty mean to you? Let’s start a conversation, one that’s not about perfection, but about authenticity. Because at the end of the day, the most powerful beauty is the one that feels right to you. 💜